what is love

what is love ?

what is this feeling?

if i give in i have the strength to fight Allah
but when i fight and turn away I’m lost an at odds
its a drug more intoxicating then the slots
but how do you give something you never got
when you now have a new feeling that was never before thought
and with it a whole new person it has brought’
this new feeling is love, and if you learn to give it as it is received…. it will be the greatest lesson ever taught

poem by
orlando wilson

so when you grow up in an environment that lacks something how so you ever give it back. its a crazy concept let me give you something i've never had nor felt. or if i did they where in fleeting moments of youthful ecstasy. it is something that everyone on this planet craves and searches for.....love... but there are very few who understand what it means to give it and receive it.

walk through life with your ears defend by madness and tell me if your able to recognize the sound of love. its a difficult thing to teach yourself an emotion or feeing that your not accustomed to seeing or feeling. especially an emotion like love , you infer on how it supposed to be given , but your never fully correct. 

to be honest when i first started writing this i really felt that way but i think that was a lie i told myself to protect myself from getting hurt and to excuse myself when i made the wrong choices in life. because to some extent yes how to love someone specifically is taught and learned. but to actually love that's in us all and we need to not shy from it but lean into it. lean into that venerable feeling , let urself fall madly deeply for someone cause life if to short to make up excuse to hurt others or to hurt your self or to even repress feelings that should be shouted for the world to hear. 

cause really up until recently and i'm sure i'm not the only one that feels like this about their partner, but i really look at her and think "WHY THE HELL ARE YOU WITH ME" like i'm a total and complete hot mess , i mean i make it look fantastic and all but i'm definently a hot mess. i had absolutely no idea what it was to care about a women , another person let alone myself. so for someone to be completely in love with me and give me unconditional love was let alone what to do when a person was trying to give it to you.

for a while every time i looked at her a warning sighn would flare in my brain screaming " this cant be real" and i would find a way to sabotage it. i did this Repeatedly over and over and over again until the love of my life gone and i felt drastically empty, and what's sadder is this is when my brain decides to go "well Maybe it was real". why in the hardest moments we decide to learn the most valuable lessons. i knew what love was i just chose not to see it for what it was. don't let yourself be blinded by a barren past , plant your seeds in the present so you may have a bountiful future.

• A grudge….What is it to you?
• ADULTHOOD” WHY DIDNT ANYONE TELL ME”?
• death, no matter how fast you are he is always right besides you
• depression takes different forms and hits many people what does it look to you……..?
• DREAMS, WHEN IS IT TOO LATE TO STOP OR START?
• HOW TIMES HAVE CHANGED…
• IS IT A DISEASE OR A STATE OF MIND?
• King? Its more then a word!
• Marriage
• pride?
• social inequalities, what do they mean to you?
• talk, talk , talk
• that creeping sensation that wont go away
• that time of year again……
• The process to change
• the tiger in the cage
• THESE KIDS! CURSES&BLESSINGS
• to live life fulfilled….
• TRANSITION…..
• welcome to…..
• what is love
• what’s does it mean to be free?
• why am I working again?
• will u die in bliss or regret?

Previous

Next