the road to change only starts when you take the first step

that creeping sensation that wont go away

It creeps and crawls up your spine You feel it coming and you tell yourself you will be fine It’s just a feeling, it’s just a feeling you keep telling your mind Then it strikes and the lights upstairs turn off like a blown power line Now you’re riding passenger thinking “please someone save me this time” But nobody comes, nobody has an answer for why this is your design All you can do is cry and go along for the ride……….

-orlando wilson
             now I know I'm not the only one who feels like they are riding passenger in their own mind. It's the worst feeling ever, knowing that your head and you aren't on the same page. How do you cope? What do you say to the people around you when you start to behave this way? 31 percent of Americans are suffering in silence this way. 31 percent and yet we are blissfully unaware of the hidden struggle. Walking with that shadow next to you knowing it could take control at any moment. That feeling alone is enough to make any person go insane. 

When he taps you on your shoulder and starts whispering those insecurities in your ear. When he starts seeping in and you feel him taking over, don't fight it. Resign, let him say what he wants let it sink in and take it, and use it as a spring board to do better. When he says you're a failure, you agree and say that yeah, there are always places I can improve. He says you're a terrible father/mother, agree. You can always make your kids smile more. He says you're a terrible husband/wife, just tell him that he's right, that you could love more. Don't let him fill you're head with negativity without combating it with something positive

           Now, this is definently easer said then done, especially when his voice is the loudest in any room, and sounds the most convincing. But I found a mantra that I've written down for even myself for the times he starts to creep on me: I will breathe, I will think of solutions, I will not let my worry control me, I will not let my stress level break me, AND IT WILL BE OK BECAUSE I DON'T QUIT! 
There are too many people in this world fighting battle with the most vicious demons that are invisible to the human eye but not to the heart. You feel your fellow man/woman struggling, help them. Your words carry more weight than you might think and next time you see someone who might be struggling tell them this: "Our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow but it does empty today of it's strength". 

Save your strength for the problems in front of you that you can change, not the problems that you might have, that you think have no solution.........because every problem has a solution, the answer is always time............

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2 responses to “that creeping sensation that wont go away”

  1. Shawn Sparks Avatar
    Shawn Sparks


    Liked by 1 person

    1. Os inc. Avatar

      ahahaha than you my guy im really glad you enjoyed it

      Liked by 1 person

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